I was awaked December second. That morning was drowsy it was
like a barbaric dragon coming out of its subterranean cave. My battery was
drained I did not move. But i had to expeditious I tried to make my self feel energetic
because…SCHOOL I ran sprinted and fumbled down the stairs. My class had a field
trip to the ancient ruin’s I hurried and made it on the khaki bus. Everyone was
joking about a anathema you can get when you go there. There where white clouds
and a disturbing old women the kids chanted necromancer. She busted in front of
me and grumbled a bit and then ran. People said victim of the sandwich it was a
joke name because she was covered in sand. I still don’t know what she
aforementioned when she grumbled or do I…
I like how you had a lot of descriptive language and made it interesting. I think you should put more of the story instead of a lot of descriptive language. Also try not to repeat words e.g. grumbled
ReplyDeleteHi Salty cats,
ReplyDeleteI really like the descriptive language you have used in your post, especially the simile using a dragon. I'm impressed to see that you have used some very unusual words - make sure you check their meaning so that everything in your story makes sense.
Mrs Dolton
Team 100
Berkshire, UK